so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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