Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
