Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
