WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bang-toberfest begins!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
