i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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