As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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