and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
