More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize