Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
