the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
