I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
