Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
