They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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