whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize