ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
