Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
