two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
