ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
