cat food counts as protein by the way
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
