and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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