U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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