Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize