did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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