I wish I could teleport
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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