I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
so much tequila, so little girl.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
