he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
