no, he came in my armpit
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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