I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
