so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
