Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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