my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
