Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
