Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
