i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
