when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize