but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
