GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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