I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
