I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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