Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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