I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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