I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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