It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
