If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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