My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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