Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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