shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The power of my boobs compel you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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