Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
