When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
