You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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