do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
