I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
