Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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