And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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