you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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