I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
