Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
