You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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