my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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