Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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