so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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