peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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