i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
