I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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