Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I could fuck to npr.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
