Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
