I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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