i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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