She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
